Who Are You Created To Be? - A Pastoral Letter

“All the colors of the rainbow, all the voices of the winds, every dream that reaches out, that reaches out to find where love begins, every word of every story, every star in every sky, every corner of creation lives to testify... From the mountains to the valleys, from the rivers to the seas, every hand that reaches out, every hand that reaches out to offer peace, every simple act of mercy, every step to kingdom come, all the hope in every heart will speak what love has done. For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love. I’ll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough. With every breath I take, I will give thanks to God above, for as long as I shall live, I will testify to Love.” ~ Testify to Love

Dear siblings in Christ,
          Many of you know I really enjoy playing drums, but I’m not sure if you know that my foray into playing drums wasn’t one that was initially fostered by my family. When I reached the grade when I could learn a band instrument and I expressed my desire to learn percussion, my parents insisted I learn a “real instrument” first, so then I chose trumpet and a few years later jumped to French horn. Between those years of learning the trumpet and French horn, my home congregation had added a contemporary worship service and the original drummer of the worship band was going to head off to college soon and the band would soon be in need of a drummer, and finally my mother (Director of Music & leader of the worship band) agreed that I could finally start learning to play the drum set so that I could take over as the church drummer. For much of my time from Jr. High thru college, I played the drums during worship, and moved over to  playing the djembe to add musical color when another drummer joined the band. And honestly through those years there was much worship music that I either got a bit tired of, or that I really enjoyed playing. There were some songs that I grew to have such appreciation for, that they wormed their way into having a special place in my heart that I find myself missing being able to play and sing every so often. One of these beloved songs was Testify to Love. It was originally written and recorded by the contemporary Christian band Avalon back in the ‘90s. I always felt this song painted such a beautiful picture of God as Love and that all of creation (including us humans) bears witness to this love, not necessarily in words, but by actions of love and peace put out into the world and through every part of creation being able to truly live into its beautiful self just as God created it to be.
          Back in the day, I never paid too close attention to the various popular Christian bands, I just enjoyed playing/singing (fairly theologically sound) worship music at church. So when the song Testify to Love was just rereleased a few weeks ago, I was surprised to learn a bit more background history of the band that first made this song a hit. I wasn’t necessarily shocked by what I learned but was surprised I don’t remember hearing about it before. This recent rerelease of the song has two of the original band members, Michael Passons & Mellissa Greene, along with country music artist, Ty Herndon. In the early 2000s Michael Passons came out as gay and then he was kicked out of the band even while Testify to Love was still such a hit in the worship music scene. So the band and their record label who put out a song that was all about God’s unconditional love throughout creation fell short of fully living into what they sang. This is not a shocking reveal when it comes to LGBTQIA+ stories in religious (especially Christian) spaces. There has been so much harm and damage done to so many in the name of religion through the years. I know many peers and acquaintances that have experienced much religious trauma (some having endured the tortures of conversion therapy) by the hands of those who said they loved them. Many experienced this trauma just for being brave enough to begin to live openly as the person God created them to be, which just happens to be different than the image of the “perfect daughter/son” that those around them had envisioned they would grow up to be. 
          I first heard of the rerelease of Testify to Love on TikTok, where I saw many posts explaining a bit of the background sharing Michael’s story and mentioning a Substack post by Mellissa Greene, titled “Testify to Love: finally tells the truth.” She shared about her journey from being a band member of Avalon, to becoming one of Michael’s fiercest allies, to being a part of this rerelease of this beloved song. From the many social media posts that I have seen share and speak about this new version of Testify to Love, it is clear that it is resonating deeply with so many, especially with those who grew up in the church but for various reasons have left. Many shared of how they were either on the receiving end of religious trauma or had witnessed it as a reason for leaving, and that this song coming out now, is acting as a healing balm to parts of their soul that had been so hurt in the name of religion. With both Michael and Ty being openly out gay men as the lead singers in this version, singing proudly, testifying to the unconditional love that God gives to all of creation and that all of creation being exactly who and what God created it to be, reflects this love back to God and to all of creation. The song finally feels like it’s fully living into its message. In our world today, where so many in positions
of power are yet again trying to demonize, dehumanize, and take away the hard fought rights of LGBTQIA+ individuals, and go as far as to label those of us who are LGBTQIA+ and those who support us as terrorists, there is something profoundly beautiful that this song has risen to the top spot of the streamed Christian Music Charts. In response to such an outpouring of love for this song Michael & Ty said this in a video to fans, “[This song] has become an anthem for people who were told they didn’t belong in faith spaces. I hope this becomes a reminder that there is room for all of us at the table of the Divine. God’s love was never meant to be locked behind fear, behind shame, or anyone’s permission.” I invite you to join in the joy that is this song and Ty, Michael, & Mellissa’s version of Testify to Love a listen.
           As we are at the start of June, the month that so many celebrate with pride the person who God created them to be, I pray that each of you, all of your loved ones, and every single person in the world will one day be able to truly live freely and openly as the people God created you to be without the fear of harm being done against anyone for doing just that. Until that day comes, I will continue to testify to the unconditional love of God by openly being the drumming, queer, woman pastor that God created me to be. So, who did God create you to be? Know that God loves you unconditionally no matter if you are living fully into that person yet or not.
God’s Peace,
Pastor Tamara Siburg